Two scenarios about war:
Scenario the first:
Having successfully destroyed their home, the planet Earth, the humans turned their attention to more important matters, namely, the economy. Food was no longer a priority, so they channeled all their economies so that every man, woman, and child on the planet had a cellphone and a loaded gun. Then they all arranged themselves so that each was pointing their gun at another, while looking at their cellphone. When the text message “NOW!” appeared, they pulled their triggers. The human race—aka Homo Sapiens (“Wise Man”)—died.
When the Trafalmadoreans arrived afterwards, they surveyed the damage and gave a long, slow whistle of incredulity. “Would you look at that!” they exclaimed, poking each other in the same place where ribs on humans were found. “Can you believe it? They upstaged us!”
Then they went off sniffing drainpipes and reciting the alphabet.
(Apologies to Kurt Vonnegut Jr. and Slaughterhouse Five, and to Bob Dylan and “Desolation Row.”)
Scenario the second:
It came down to two humans finally: an elderly man and a young woman. They stood facing off each other, with a gun at each other’s head. The man said, “Isn’t this rather pointless? Let’s put down our guns and laissez-faire.” The woman said, “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” and pulled the trigger. The man fell dead.
“Well,” said the woman, “now to start over again, repopulating the human race.”
Then the last person alive looked around. “Ooopsy,” she said to no one in particular.